nEver beEn the ideAl gUy



I have never been the ideal guy.


We started our 6 months of relationship as friends. I remember, I was at my senior year and you are at your 3rd year when I gone to know you. We even had this exchange of letters on our Literature class; you were my partner on it. I have kept our letters, letters that we shared and those were the letters that we have written our feelings, emotions, fun, our own expressions and our hopes.


Upon graduation, I remember you congratulated me and wished me luck. I would like to hug you, but you know me, I’ll just keep it on my smiles. From that time on, our days are counted as more than we used to have it; we became couples then after… I know, you are young and I consider it as first love. It was all joy for me to feel. It was simple and worth to remember. I have been simple on things then and from being that simple guy you’ve known me, things were not doing well after all…


The joy had been changed. I was at my drastic end… Too much of school… Too much of work… Too much family… Too much pressure… Too much of you…

Since then you have been always assuming the worst… I understand the reason. We both have hopes and dreams, and I know as what you have seen then, I am not part of it. I know, I was just simple, I can’t do much.


I still thank you, until now. You moved me, you made me. It gave me this vision of being the ideal guy that you would like to see me or as what you have wanted me then to be. I am now happy for it, I am now happy for you and I am now happy for myself. I have waited for this tomorrow and now I am on it, continually doing the tomorrow that I have thought before. I now think that I can still make things that I wanted them to be, it was all that simple.


But then as we continue to live from the past, I know, I am still, I have never been the ideal guy