shining stupid past

There are things that I can’t hide from you. It is that unselfish feeling that you had created within me. I have tried to follow and admire everything about you. It is my humble-stupid approach on how I feel and on how I care for you. I admire you on my deepest-stupid existence.

I can’t blame you if you’ll see that I was the most stupid guy you have ever known. I can’t blame you to have me in your hand, too much of you and too much of everything about you. I know that you simply ignore me, I guess more than what I do, you just don’t care. You are in this complete control of my emotion and of my heart. I thought that everyday with you will always make me happy, will make me feel good about you and will always make me free for what I feel. I devoted time and effort which I thought was pure, honest and stupid. I spend time with myself thinking and dreaming all about you. It was stupid, it was silly and it was a great loneliness after.

The heartache you gave me is more than the bitter reality of living. The reality of my destructive and sad existence all went to unveil. It was all foolish and stupid.

I see you now as the same person who has nothing to gain with life. I am wondering what happened to you. You created a new life and I hope that what you have right now is enough. Everything has just been stupid and enough…